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STOP THE WEB!!
News has it the bureaucrats are asking for a £9000 pay off for the next Town Week.
July 98 - Yes Haywards Heath Town Week 1998 commenced on the 4th
July. Perhaps scheduled to steal the thunder out of the Independence Day
Celebrations in the States (and the armada of aliens wiping out mankind!)
On first glance it appears to be the usual small town community fayre, on
a second glance it is, on a third no real improvement..... well certainly beats the pants
out of Lindfield Village Fete eh?
Details of events in and around Haywards Heath to commerate er Haywards
Heath can be found on 01444 415055. The event runs from July 3rd to 12th.
Satireee!
23/12/98 Sainsbury's 24 hour trading in the run up to
xmas appears to have been a success. Although the branch manager claimed that customers
were served better the damning facts are. When I came back from Brighton at 0030hrs I
found the store packed... mostley pissed up kids and families. Very little on the shelves
and plenty of reduced cartons of single cream! The girl on the check out had only been
trained that night and there were no ready meal curry meals left!
"I sure hope that's chocolate
spread!"
DYSENTERY COULD COST £1 MILLION
SAINSBURY’S could pay up to £1 million in
compensation to victims of the dysentery outbreak in Mid Sussex. The estimate follows a
landmark judgement against the superstore after they pulled out of a court case at the
last minute.
Lawyer Michael Coleman, acting for some of the victims,
told the Middy: "They have thrown in the towel. They have accepted that they cannot
win." In the High Court on Friday an application by Sainsburys to challenge judgement
given against them in favour of the Meyerratken family of Warninglid was dismissed.
Toddler Ben Meyerratken was the youngest victim of the
outbreak which hit 46 people throughout Mid Sussex — although medical experts say
around 130 people could have been affected.
All the officially recorded cases were directly linked to
eating contaminated fruit salad bought from the salad bar at Sainsbury’s in Haywards
Heath.
Friday’s decision confirms the Court’s earlier
findings as to Sainsbury’s responsibility. The court awarded damages to the family
which are yet to be calculated, though could be between £50,000 and £100,000 depending
on further medical examination. This could pave the way for similar settlements for 13
other victims represented by Mr Coleman and all others affected.
Sainsburys has also been
ordered to pay the Meyerratken family’s legal costs, thought to be around £15,000.
After the hearing Mr Coleman said: "The Meyerratken
family are relieved that the court has found in their favour. They are disappointed that
it has been necessary to fight this matter in court having already gone through the
nightmare of suffering this disease. I am now preparing further actions against Sainsburys
on behalf of the other victims for whom I act."
A spokeswoman for Sainsbury’s said estimates of the costs of claims
were speculative but each case would be treated sympathetically and quickly.
Sainsbury’s has accepted the statistical link between the fruit salad and the
outbreak.
Middy 10/12/98
12/12/98 - Haywards Heath Railway Station - glory be, finally
the efficiencies of privatisation are coming through, after a good too many years of our
lovely train station falling into general disrepair; a new lick of paint and it looks as
good as new.... just the trains to do now eh?
6/12/98 - The Trainstation Gym and Southern FM - in a rather
poor publicity stunt, the two organisations hit upon the grand plan of getting people to
go along to the Connex station to meet Southern FM crew who were apparently giving out
free goodies. Being a sad sack I heard this on the radio and went along. Err
the free goodies were a car sticker and a leaflet about the new gym... LIARS!
I wanted to see Bill Oddie and chums!
3/12/98 - Catalogue of Violence - Apparently
there is an assault every 10 days and the police say there is no cause for alarm!
Tragically crime is up, but as long as the police say there is no cause for alarm and the
local press saying there is cause for alarm I feel safe in the knowledge of being
confused!
3/12/98 - Dysentery Toll was 130 - Apparently that was the toll
of those who suffered the alleged wrath of Sainsbury's salad bar. The Middy in a
bout of tabloid journalism admit the actual numbers reported were 46!! Sainsbury's
are still refusing to admit liability and are listed to defend the first test case
tomorrow in the High Court. A spokesman for Sainsbury's recognise that there is
statistical evidence to link the outbreak with the sald bar and we are talking to people
to settle claims as quickly and sympathetically as possible". In other words
they are doing everything in order to avoid court action and being found liable after
all! Don't be so sarky!
30/7/98 - "Traffic Ban Plan for Busy Street" - The
Broadway in Haywards Heath could be given a new lease of life as a pedestrian boulevard...
boosting its growing reputation as a chic place to meet and dine. - Part of the street
became pedestrianised last Friday and Saturday when it was closed to traffic for a
successful French market. Bright sunshine and traditional French fare attracted big
crowds and the area took on a Continental air as shoppers snacked at tables on the
pavement outside the street's burgeoning restaurants. The opening of the Cafe Rouge
in the Broadway last week has enhanced the road/s image as avenue for good food, and the
town mayor Lesley Wilkins believes pedestrianisation will add to that appeal.
Hmmm.... well its being considered a Millennium Project - it will give the bureaucrats
something to do instead of solving all that traffic congestion that currently blocks up
the Broadway... it doesn't take a genius to work out that by pedestrianisation of one
area, just means moving all the traffic elsewhere! As for it being a plan, this has
been blown out of proportion, although "some people think it would be a nice
idea" would use up to much space!
4/7/98 - James Prue of Magic Bus Fame is going to apply his luddite form
to the internet - watch out and be afraid!
21/5/98 - Protestors Rapped - Campaigners hit our over nimby
attitudes (extract from Middy) - "This whole nimby approach is making our young feel
worthless. Town Mayor Lesley Wilkins said "Nimbyyism is an attitude that most
of us as residents have expereinced from time to time. It is often a fear or
perception based on the worst scenario situation. In reality, on many occasions the
final outcome has been shown to be neither dreadul nor threatening" - I guess that
really kind of sums up Haywards Heath!
26/4/98 - Local Election News 2 - Julia Brown of Lib Dems won
it.... well the number of total votes was under 1000. Hmmmm...
Apparently this is a 32% turn out!! I dman sure there are more people in this HH
then were letting on or rather how come so few of us have the audacity to dictate the
policies for the majority eh?
26/4/98 - New England Road Traffic Calming - I thought my mate
was joking about the traffic calming in America Lane / New England Road area (I guess the
traffic reports on Southern FM going on for weeks should have been a clue). There
are loads of sleeping policemen and roundabouts FOR SOME REASON. It's nice to
see these measure employed well away from Heyworth School!
9/4/98 - Annoyed with Sunday traffic, annoyed with Bank holiday
weekend gridlock and you especially hate tractors - Then avoid Mid Sussex for the duration
of Sunday 10 April, for there will be a procession of tractors winding it's way through
the district disrupting traffic for some historical reason. NB: M23 unaffected unless some
one has an accident or a pipe bursts! D'oh!
9/4/98 Local election news, yes its time for that local council
election where the "politicians" come out and whorishly advertise themselves for
self gratification. Although I was going to go with the yellow party I was some what
confused with her campaign strategy when she approached me one night on my door step in my
grunge out tat. From what I recall she show me a leaflet with her picture on it and then
said that was her picture (as if I didn't realise the resemblance), in fact she was
pictured alongside alongside a number of CCTV locations with her even older chum, which I
was not especially impressed about. I then asked her about these "30" posters
that came through in the post the other day and she said that the aim was to put these in
our windows to remind drivers that this was the speed limit - I reminded her surely that
these would provide a distraction and more than likely cause an accident! Anyway if Pascal
Atkins (Labour), David Turner (cons) want to follow up Julia Brown's (Lib Dem) efforts by
looking and acting stoopid in front of a potential voter then you know where to find me
(YES IN HAYWARDS HEATH!! WHERE THE VOTERS ARE!!!). As for Baron Von Thunderclap (Monster
Raving Looney Party) down't make smokers carry air fresheners, get them to stop
smoking.... but I do agree on the ban on Volvos..... well all Volvos except the models
that came out in the last couple of years 'cos they look nice.
2/98 - West Sussex County Council built an area of which
probably the densest population of traffic lights in the whole of Sussex,
6 sets of traffic lights were erected in Autumn 1997. Apparently no-one was
consulted..... well someone with a clip board noted the number of people crossing the
road!! Well okay at least we can run the Gauntlet from the Star to Ephesus for that
Friday night 'bab a little easier!
Just what do you do with a brand new CCTV system? Well the obvious
thing is to make sure it catches criminals on camera. Well with all the other
anti-crime initiatives going around I guess the heavy spend was worth it!
2/8/98 Those CCTV things do work! - there I was enjoying my
freedom and liberty with a mate drinking at Cafe Rouge when I noticed the eye of the law
staring at me. I stopped and waved at the camera and it suddenly panned round to the
people standing outside some other shops.
6/7/98 Things to do in front of CCTV Cameras -
Dress up in a black & white striped shirt, don a eye mask and carry a large
sack with "SWAG" and loiter.
Perform a Shakespearean play.
Organise your own Band Aid Concert - pretend that the different CCTV locations
are Philidephia and Wembley.
Lie still and motionless on the ground for a while - but scarper as soon as you
hear sirens.
Perform a mime
Kneel before the camera and hail it as a sign of the Gods
4/7/98 - Nice One CCTV - yes it's been confirmed, CCTV has officially
moved crime into the unCCTVed areas of Haywards Heath - you complete Joey's, in
order to beat crime you need to have a crime prevention plan. Still I bet the money
spent has been well worth it eh?
26/4/98 There was another armed robbery at Unwins in
Commercial Square. I guess if the CCTV camera was actually pointing towards the
shops in the square instead of being fixed on the Railway Station then we might actually
catch the thief!
CCTV has come online, still the 7-11 is packed with kiddies at
11pm on Friday and Saturday nights. Ahhhh, but the eye of the law can see them in
their control room via their CCTV!
Haywards Heath police have made three arrests over the past ten
days using the new CCTV cameras in the town centre.The arrests have come before the
cameras' official launch date at the end of April and police say their early success is
extremely encouraging.On Tuesday a man wanted by police was arrested in South Road after
being seen on camera by officers in the CCTV control room at the Haywards Heath police
headquarters. Last Wednesday, two men were monitored removing a bundle of laundry from
Haywards Road. They have since been charge with theft.Acting inspector in the control room
Mik Skinner said: "The cameras are in such good positions that people trying anything
in the town centre are going to be seen:'Over the past month the police have logged 90
incidents directly linked with monitoring from CCTV cameras in. Burgess HiII and Haywards
Heath.
"Hey you bad ass muddy
funsters, you know of a dude with a hip set of wheels like ours then email the details to
us" - Starsky
"You
think you're pretty smart driving around in your automobile... paint it red and white and
become true 70s heroes like us!" - Hutch
"Hey don't forget me!!" - Huggy
Bear
23/12/98 Someone's bad boy conveyance was nicked on
11/12 it was an RS Cosworth reg Q297 8BL valued around 15k yo!
3/12/98 - The most worrying observation is that there are alot
of boy racer Peugeot 106's!!
Hmmm.... dream specification machine, I guess would mean a car lowered to the
ground so low that it has to have titanium skid plates, big fecking wheel arches and ultra
wide ultra low profile tyres (Bridgestone/Continental/Goodyear)
Hey anyone spotted the bald bloke with the TVR? Apparently he owns 4 cars,
has 4 houses and so few friends!!!
Anyone spotted the kiddy with the white Alfa Romeo with the dodgy exhaust?
Anyone spotted the ironically registered GBH white VW Golf Cabriolet?
Apart from a Toyota MR2 driven by what looks like a 14 year old there is nothing
major to report here - Oh by the way the young lad has a registration plate
"U 5LA6", yeah and I hope you have a crash buddy!
As for the XR3i that sat on my chuff as I drove home late Friday night, you 'am
the baddest!!! I wish I could drive that close!
3/12/98 - Oathall The Big Debate - The middy devoted a
page to letters concerning all the wot not about the plans for the floodlit sports ground.
Hmmmm could there be any link between this and the rise in crime? Well
I don't have the time to go through all the pros and cons. All I can say is that the
situation can be easily resolved by getting a local authority purchase order and buy up
all the houses surround the school!! Job done!
26/7/98 - Plans for global domination continue - with
the expansion of OCC of a new floodlit football ground come running track. The
locals are baring their teeth, whilst the school awaits the verdict of it's lottery
application.
26/7/98 - Plans for global domination continue - with
the expansion of OCC of a new floodlit football ground come running track. The
locals are baring their teeth, whilst the school awaits the verdict of it's lottery
application.
21/5/98 - Reunion news II - adapted from an email...
Hmmm....
Well it was alright I suppose, Tim and myself were the only ones who turned up
from our year (1985-1990) at first (Elena Marrale and Katy Brown appeared towards the end
of the afternoon). To be brutally honest Jeff Goater didn't really advertise the event all
to well.... I mean who is going to spot a crappy poster in Sains and who listens to Radio
2 these days! (hmmmm quite alot of people to be honest!!)
Okay.... we were probably the youngest ones there... and at a guess it was
primarily directed at the older crowd. Anyway it was really good to walk around and
explore old haunts... the old prefect patrol routes, and the old classrooms. Alot has
certainly changed there are a new music block and a new languages block, the art rooms
appear to have been changed into labs.
what was really amusing were the old school pictures.... Ellen (Walkenshaw)
still has fuzzy hair and adorns the Young Farmers Club shrine which is still situated
prior to entry into picadilly circus. And opposite the girls changing rooms old pictures
of Zoe Shepherd and Charlotte Renowden posing in leotards.
We even went into Mr Jarvis' pottery room and checked the tables.... they were
filthy (we did after all apply the thumb scraping table move!)
My Jarvis appears to have gone senile.... he thought Popkin was someone else and
he vaguely remembered me. Mr Horn looked as though he hadn't aged at all and it was
obvious that he looked rather uncomfortable with us younger kids. Mr Goodwin looked
like father xmas with his beard, Mr Hastings was still good as always. Mr Rimmer still had
that aura of superiority and even succeeded in making me feel like a pupil again with his
sharp stares and non flinching moments.
26/4/98 - Reunion newsI - what with Oathall
getting nigh on 60 years old it time for a good excuse for some festivities! Yes I
hear its going to be around 5 or 9th of May 1998 anyway it's going to be a Saturday (I
think!).
Does the status gang still exist at this level of education?
Does the Head Master Mr Rimmer still have his sentries (i.e. prefects) patrolling
his trophy cabinet?
This
page was last updated on Sunday, 20. June 1999.
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STOP THE WEB!!
News has it the bureaucrats are asking for a £9000 pay off for the next Town Week.
