The Middy has been around for god knows how long. It's a bit
of a mixed bag, sometimes it covers local news, sometimes it chooses to sensationalise
trivial matters, sometimes it doesn't even cover "big" news. But what the
hey, its our local rag and we luv it to bits. If you have any choice snippets you
want to share with us then drop us an email, better still email me the article!
I only recently found out this exciting fact (well I've known since November
1998!). There used to be someone employed on the competitions desk at the Mid Sussex
Times. They wanted to be a journo', but the hacks there wouldn't let him. So
in some act of rebellion and Robin Hood kindness he set about fixing the results of the
Mid Sussex Times competitions. The criteria he would set:
Friends and relatives had a better chance of winning.
if you hadn't pissed him off and in fact recently done a good deed, you were
considered for first prize.
if the prize was sufficiently good, he would get one of his friends to pose as Mr
S Sam. Unfortunately all the prizes were naff, so he quickly stopped all that.
if you were a kindly OAP and lived down the road from him, you would get a dinner
for two for free.
Oh and if your entry was in anyway crap, it got slung into the bin. Even if
you got the answers right!
14/5/98 Is this the Sussex Puma? -The Sussex Puma is on the
prowl again - this time near woodland in Cuckfield. And elderly lady in Tower House
Close spotted the black puma-type beast when she looked out of her window last Thursday
evening. It was standing on her lawn just five yards away. Moements laterit
walked out of sight and disappeared behind her garage. The woman mad her own drawing
and gave police a graphic description of the animal which she said had thick black hair
and was around two feet long with a 15 inch tail. She told them she was familiar
with animals and insisted it was not a normal cat or dog. During further enquiries,
police were told by a neighbour that a similar animal had been sighted about two months
ago on the western side of the village where property backs onto the woodland.
31/12/98 Don't Pop The Bubble Wrap - Friends of
the Earth suggest we reuse Christmas cards, by cutting out designs from old cards or
covering previous greetings by placing new messages over the top. Bubble wrap could
always be retained- extremely abridged version. (bore me to tears will you!-ed)
26/11/98 - Those Were the Days - 10 Years Ago - A major £20
million development plan for Haywards Heath station and car park was announced this week,
if approved the scheme would include a large mulitstorey car park, new offices, shops,
flats, a restaurant, hotel and new station with improved bus and taxi access. (Ten
years on and squat has still happened, don't you just luv it?)
The tag line for the Middy is "The essential NEWSpaper
for everyone in Mid Sussex"
4/7/98 Sorry for the lack of novelties in this section, I've been far too
busy helping out with P11Ds and audit work to be skimming the Middy for lacklustre news
items as of late. However it would appear that the Middy Journalists have been
biding their time to unleash their gems in July!
14/5/98 - Phone comes home - when middy reporter Susan King lost
her cordless phone she knew it had gone forever. Susan took a call while cleaning
her car on the front drive of her Hurstpierpoint home. She put the phon eon the car
roof, put away the cleaner and drove to Waitrose. Phone calls to the police and
notices posted to trees yielded nothing. then the Middy's photographic printer Phia
Castillo from Scaynes Hill rang asking if anyone had lost a portable phone? Her taxi
driver husband had found one, pressed a button and seen the Middy's Haywards Heath number
come up on the display...
14/5/98 - What makes a rook lose his temper?- The mystery of
dive bombing rooks continues to grow with the news that more of the winged pests have been
spotted attacking other birds. A woman, from the St George's Lane, Hurstpierpoint,
contacted the Middy with the information that she has seen rooks attack both wood pigeons
and collared doves. Thiis the latest development since Flo Lewis from Victoria Road
Haywards Heath, complained rooks were attacking blue tits which had been nesting in her
garden for eight years. However, a woman from Henfield Road, Albourne, told the
Middy, she has had all kinds of birds including both blue tits and rooks nesting and
feeding in her garden and there had never been any problems. "I hadve had blue
tits, great tits, sparrows, bullfinches and pheasants in the garden and have done for many
years but never expereinced any fighting between them." If you wish to add to
this explosion of news contact Steven Vaughan.
7/5/98 - Why come out when there are sweets about - curious
toddler Michael Wilkie from Lindfield went on a voyage of "discovery" sparking a
999 call for a rescue party. The troublesome 2 1/2 year old of Meadow Lane, climbed
into a Land Rover (geddit!!) which his parents, Christina and Stewart jad borrowed for a
trip to Cornwall and managed to lock himself in. No amount of coaxing could get the
Damon Hill wannabee out of the vehicl. He found a bag of sweets and tucked in,
oblivious to the fuss outside. Christina who also has a ten month old daughter
Louisa said "Stewart was cleaning out the Discovery (geddit) to return it to his work
colleague and had just nipped inside to get the Hoover when you know who climbed in,
pulled the door shut and went around pushing all the locks down. The keys were in
the ignition because Stewart was listening to the sport, and unfortunately, they were the
only set of keys we had. We spent about 3/4 hr trying to coax him out.
30/4/98 -Mum Minky makes it but Bianco's still AWOL-
Minky the hamster who went on a big adventure under the floorboards of a Hassocks home has
been found safe and well in a frying pan lid (begs the question - ed!) But her baby
Bianco is still on the loose..... blah blah blah... Minky and her lively seven week old
baby, squeezed through a hole by the lavatory and disappeared under the network of
floorboards. Firemen from Keymer were called to remove some of the floorboards but
couldn't find the two runaways. Efforts to tempt the hamsters out with some juicy
Gloucestershire cheese also failed. The breakthrough came the next morning when they
heard rattling in the kitchen. Lisa opened a cupboard and, much to her relief, found
minky sitting in a frying pad lid. She looked shocked and her paws were dirty but
otherwise she was fine - I don't think it's unusual for hamsters to do this....... (I give
up! - ED)
23/4/98 - KNOCK THEM DOWN - The Mayor of Haywards Heath Lesley
Wilkins, with her tongue firmly in cheek, can think of two horrors she would like to see
bulldozed away: Stockwell Court (AKA CO-OP Towers) and the railway bridge by the town's
station. Television reception at Stockwell Court must be the best in Mid
Sussex. Why else would you need so many aerials on one building? Cllr Wilkins
feels the high-rise block is totally out of keeping with rest of the town. The infamous
railway bridge by the station also strikes a raw nerve. The town council wants
Railtrack to clean up its act and make the bridge respectable enough for people to walk
under. Pedestrians have to doge drips of water, pigeon droppings and grey slime on
the walls. Doiing away witht the bridge has an obvious drawback- commuters would
have to jump a ravine to catch their connecting trains.
Now tell the Middy of the eyesores you would like to see knocked down: Middy
Mailbag, Mid Sussex Times,19/21 Boltro Road, Haywards Heath, RH16 1BT.
23/4/98 HELP FOR HAMPSTERS - Two Hassocks hamsters were at
the centre of a rescue drama yesterday. The hamsters who live in Shepherds Walk,
are Minky and her seven week old baby Bianco. They escaped from their cage in the
bathroom and ran through a hold by the lavatory after their owner, Lisa Young, let them
out to exercise in the bath. She put them back in the cage but forgot to lock the
door. She believed her hand reared pets were under the floorboards and and dialled
999. The stout men of Keymer Fire Service took up some of the boards in the bathroom
bit couldn't spot the adventureres and decided to lay some tempting bait. At the
time of going to press Mrs. Young was pinning her hopes on a juicy morsel of
Gloucestershire Cheese.
9/4/98 PHOEBE 'S ROLE AS CRUCIFIX MODEL - A child of 12 has
volunteered to be the model. She will lie face down on two tables and a light weight cross
will be placed on her back. Her clothes will be wrapped in Clingfilm and any skin showing
will be covered in Vaseline. Plaster will be slapped over the back of the cross and the
back of her body. (Rather sad exploitation of kids - especially messing with their minds
at such a young age as well - Ed!)
9/4/98 - PARENT DROVE CAR AT HEAD - The head teacher of Oathall
Community College, John Rimmer, was lucky to avoid injury after a parent deliberately
drove his car into him near the school. Mr Rimmer revealed details of the incident at a
public meeting called to discuss controversial plans for a new sports facilities.
Residents at the meeting complained about traffic congestion in Appledore Gardens caused
by parents taking their children to and from the school. Mr Rimmer said he had personally
gone out to talk to parents parking selfishly in the road. He told residents at the
meeting: " I have every sympathy with you. You wouldn't believe the abuse I've had.
I've actually been drive into deliberately by a parent when I was speaking to him (note
the crafty way the Middy Reporter recycles parts of the story in order to fill up space! -
Ed). "He said he had written to parents about the congestion problems on three
separate occasions since July. His aim is to encourage parents to let their children walk
to school instead of travelling short distances by car.
2/4/98 Puma on Tape - The Sussex Puma lives. Its been
caught on video by David Ward-Streeter of East Chiltington, who filmed the animal in a
field from a bedroom window. If you see the puma, give the Middy a ring on
01444 452201 and ask for Cheryl Barber. -and please do!!!
12/3/98 Motoring Plus - Seen as abusy road junction in Haywards
Heath... A car joining the main flow of traffic with the driver sipping a drink from a
paper/plastic cup. (hmmm REALLY!!! that's really pedantic that they covered both types of
material used in disposable cup catering!)
12/3/98 MASSIVE BILL (This is a good example of using another
journal/newspapers coverage to pad out their own!!) - Sainsbury's Haywards Heath
store made it into the pages of the Grocer magazine when one customer was faced with a
bill of £6162.02 at the checkout. It should have been £61.82. The magazine
commented: "such experiences are not for the faint hearted. "the real down
side was not being able to claim all those reward points."
5/3/98 EJACULATIONS OF SURPRISE AND ADMIRATION (HONEST this was the sub
heading!!) - Oathall Community College, celebrates its diamond jubilee this year
and plans are under way for a grand re-union in May as well as other events throughout the
year... A middy reporter noted in Aug 30 1938, "Those who spent their
schooldays in cold draughty cheerless rooms cramped in uncomfortable desks will perhaps
eye this beautifully equipped building a little enviously".. In the "manual
instruction room" the boys had an anvil, lathes and tools of every description.
"He will indeed be an extraordinary boy who will object to a lesson here",
gushed the reporter. Members of the Haywards Heath, Cuckfield and Lindfield Chamber
of Commerce visited the school shortly after it opened to see how rate payers money had
been spent. The word "extravagant" was murmured during the tour but,
notes the reporter, one also heard "many an ejaculation of surprise and
admiration". After trying out one of the new desks, the Chamber's President
said "some of you will remember the old forms we used to sit on. If we got a
splinter in, we pulled it out!" (Abridged Version from Those were the days)
26/2/98 TALKING HANKIES - Churchgoers are not known for getting
up to any hanky-panky, but an exception is being made at St Edward's Church in
Burgess Hill. Brenda Mathews from Dunstall Farm Road, will be giving her hanky
talk entitled "No to be Sneezed at!" revealing how and where she amassed her
collection of souvenir and commemorative handkerchiefs, and showing some of her more
unusual ones. Those with a nose for a story should get to the church for 8pm and
tickets costing £2, which includes tea and biscuits can be bought on the door.
26/2/98 Middy Mailbag - WHAT A WASTE - We have had the Ice Age,
the Stone Age. After the Millenium Dome row, will history judge or record us the
Wastage Age perhaps? (Yeah nice one! - Ed)
26/2/98 Motoring Plus (Shameless advertising in disguise - Ed) -
A Lesson from Maureen "the driver from L" - Maureen Rees, the
55 year old Cardiff grandmother who shot to fame after appearing in the BBC-TV series
Driving School is encouraging motorists to thinks about their driving habits in a new
Drive and Save campaign. (Anyone who remembers the series, heard the single and seen her
on the National Lottery etc etc, can see the irony of this piece!)
Old hat from Feb 1997
An intruder tried to break into a cell block at Haywards Heath police
station. Quote "doors were strengthened against attack from the inside but
no-one had ever tried to get in before".
Out for a duck - Luv a ducks! A stray duck is causing mayhem in Cuckfield has
been on the loose in the village for a week.
From the "Two's Company Page" - Two females seek other straight female
friends to goto pubs..... (NICE!!)
This
page was last updated on Sunday, 20. June 1999.
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