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Welcome To...

The Alternative Haywards Heath Page

"the latest traffic news,

from Big Al's

Big traffic Chopper,

last updated 18 March 2000

 

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Big Al's Traffic Chopper (Incorporating Bad Boy News!)

SCROLL DOWN IF YOU WANT TO UPDATE YOURSELF ON THEM BOYS WITH THEIR KICKING SET OF ALLOYS!

newanm.gif (11099 bytes)28/1/99 Survey Shows Companies Are on the Wrong Track - Fattie Soames is at his media whorish best again, with yet another name check concerning rail services.  "I shall be looking for much greater effort on their part" . Dammnit Man do something!!

14/1/98 Danger Road: MP Calls for Action - having clung onto his election seat for dear life and living a relatively quiet political life, fatty Soames our local conservative MP for Mid Sussex was out doing some good in the Burgess Hill area in Leylands road - which was nice!

newanm.gif (11099 bytes)Residents of Haywards Heath cannot have failed to have noticed the increase in round abouts and traffic lights.  Some say it's a move towards safer roads, however their emergence in almost crop circle like mystery must mean the truth is no where!  How ironic that as residents of Mid Sussex bring issues of road safety to the fore that the council continues to spend money in the wrong places and creating accident blackspots!!

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Our first road safety black spot is the one way road system on the A272 running past the Star Public House and the town centre.  During rush hour, due to the close proximity of the traffic lights, cars tend to queue up and block the flow of traffic.  The worst place is the rear of the Star, where it is known for queuing traffic to be caught out by cars rounding the blind bend without warning of the queues.

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Don't forget our newest safety black spot the hastily constructed roundabout on West Common Road and Appledore Gardens.  Remember its still a 40 MPH zone and the watch out for the New Road Layout Signs which are a mere 9 feet from the roundabout!  Potential queues likely at all times.  Please take care when turning at this junction as there is insufficient room to actually go AROUND the roundabout, due to unncessary road narrowing (as part of the roundabout's construction).

We next look at the roundabout at Portsmouth Road and Summerhill Lane.  A case of they managed to get it almost right.  Almost in that it works a little too safely for it's own good, however drivers please be warned that the council forgot to resurface part of the road, which may lead to your vehicle veering off the straight into houses on Summerhill Lane

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Remember what we said about queueing traffic.   The lights opposite the entrance to Oathalll, are now automated and and expanded upon.  As a consequence drivers may find during rush hour that they may be queuing on the Oathall/Sydney Road roundabout.  Remember reading and watching television in queueing traffic is a hazard to others!  In order to accomodate the traffic lights, the road again has been narrowed, please note there are no KEEP CLEAR boxes which would otherwise result in safer driving.

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"Hey you bad ass muddy funsters, you know of a dude with a hip set of wheels like ours then email the details to us" - Starsky

"You think you're pretty smart driving around in your automobile... paint it red and white and become true 70s heroes like us!" - Hutch

"Hey don't forget me!!" - Huggy Bear

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newanm.gif (11099 bytes)14/3/00 More news on TVR Guy with no friends!

From: UK Ali <Ali@.com>  Sent: 14 March 2000 10:31 Subject: TVR Baldie

I think I know the TVR baldie bloke with all the houses. If it is who I think it is, you are right, he doesn't have any friends (mostly because he is a total wanker!)

Cheers,

Al

 
newanm.gif (11099 bytes)25/01/00 - Bad Boy in his White Mini burns round the Sainsbury's one-way system 3 times on Friday night.  We weren't really sure what he was trying to achieve!
23/12/98 Someone's bad boy conveyance was nicked on 11/12 it was an RS Cosworth reg Q297 8BL valued around 15k yo!
3/12/98 - The most worrying observation is that there are alot of boy racer Peugeot 106's!!
Hmmm.... dream specification machine, I guess would mean a car lowered to the ground so low that it has to have titanium skid plates, big fecking wheel arches and ultra wide ultra low profile tyres (Bridgestone/Continental/Goodyear)
Hey anyone spotted the bald bloke with the TVR?   Apparently he owns 4 cars, has 4 houses and so few friends!!! 
Anyone spotted the kiddy with the white Alfa Romeo with the dodgy exhaust?
Anyone spotted the ironically registered GBH white VW Golf Cabriolet?
Apart from a Toyota MR2 driven by what looks like a 14 year old there is nothing major to report here  -  Oh by the way the young lad has a registration plate "U 5LA6", yeah and I hope you have a crash buddy!
As for the XR3i that sat on my chuff as I drove home late Friday night, you 'am the baddest!!!  I wish I could drive that close!

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This page was last updated on Saturday, 18. March 2000.

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