Well it had to happen
eventually as our media mogul spreads his internet waist line into a separate corner of
this web s@ite!
The name is, my name is, my name is
AKAKA Soames, Nicholas Soames. He's Tory
MP for the Mid Sussex area and appears to be doing more than his predecessor the lap dog
Tim Renton used to do... well if you ain't writing a book you'll certainly have the
time! Anyway his appearances in the Middy have increased to meteoric proportions in
recent weeks as our Tory Fat boy consumes the local publicity fetish'isms of local
trivia. And yes it looks like his left side is his best side...
(Cheers
to the Larkin for the adopt an MP link!)
18/11/99 Book tells of an extraordinary life 18/11/99 Book tells of an extraordinary life - never
one to miss out on free publicity, MC Soames checked out Ottakers and
helped an old man launch a book. The connection? Well
Soames wrote the foreword! Oh if you're somewhat interested, the
book was by Fred Goddard!
11/11/99 Put Health Review on Hold says MP - hmmmm
yawn
11/11/99 Soame's sharp words on bus cuts - demanding
an explanation for the cut back in the bus service from Lindfield to
Haywards Heath....hmmmm maybe cos they all drive german cars and have
no time for the bus when they go on the school rat run!
25/6/99 Question Time - not content with local news,
Soames decides to hit the bright lights of television. His
unique style of "being there" being brought to good use in
front of the nation.
The gathered panellists
Dimbleby tries hard not
to fall asleep
Smug pawn of Blair makes
smug statement and ignores answering audience question
Soames disagrees
Rarified Blair Moment
Concern
I'll see you Jimme!
Confused
Handbags
Smug but correct comment
Bloody Thatcher
Popularist Journo, stirs
the audience without a clear thought for the social consequences.
10/6/99 Watch Launch at Show - he officially
launches Farm Watch at the South of England Show - hmmmm...
20/5/99 Soames' "reckless" blast
- Kick Ass as Cartman would say, well he'd also say "Respect my
Authoritay!" Anyway as the bru-ha-ha over the closure of
Burgess Hill police station, once again the media moguls best friend,
steps into the fray.
18/3/99
Soames wants to see reds in Sussex - wot? has Noames see the communist light?
far from it... in fact he wants to see the reintroduction of the red squirrel in
West Sussex- ah but the damn grey will always rue the roost.... errr
11/3/99 MP's support for school crossing - our man in the thick
of it once more yes, he held an hour long session with parents and yes he goeth to the
West Sussex County Council, but will he suck seed? well only time can tell!
4/3/99 Soames calls for safer rail station - he maketh some
suggestions about improving Wivelsfield Station. Errr Rail Track had already
announced that they were considering rennovation work. A timely media pummel, or a
case of coincidence?
4/3/99 Comic Relief - never one to miss a photo call, even if
its for chara-deee!
25/2/99 Snide about our MP (Middy Mailbag) - Mr
Haywards pips up for the Soame's - damnit the man done good for once, and it did not
demand a press call!
25/2/99 Soames blasts hygiene tax - About two
weeks after the "Government" announced it, our media glutton MP sticks his oar
in! Well not to be one left out eh?
18/2/99 Private Eye - Soames also get s name
check in national satirical magazine Private Eye (footnotes), this man knows no district
bounds does he!
18/2/99 Lost Opportunity to Promote Rail Business
(Middy Mailbag) - Soames is dissed by JD Gamble who recalls a less than solid Soames
moment! - Damnit Soames stop the rot stop it now!
18/2/99 Missing the Point (Middy Mailbag) - Gill
Balsdon fires a salvo of truth from the picket fences of Liberal Democrap, dissing the boy
Soames and the lack of results (shoorely shum mistake?). "I'm sure other local
politicians will query Mr Rankin's assertion that Mr Soames is, "the only politician
I've met by accident on the streets of World's End". Mr Soames' (shouldn't that
be fattie Soames?) appearance was no accident, it was a well known photo opportunity, how
many were in the crowd?".... "What we must not do is promise the impossible
(well politicians eh?)
18/2/99 Serving Up National - The Soames did a photo call at the
Dolphin Leisure Centre who were holding the Liverpool Victoria National Badminton
Championships. Here our media savvy MP takes time to be pictured with MSD Counciller
and Umpire Mike Gilks.
11/2/99 Page 5 feedback on the meeting re: rail,
Page 11 All Smiles as farm is saved Page 5 feedback on the meeting re: rail,
Page 11 All Smiles as farm is saved - yet another photo opportunity as Fattie
Soames indulged in some husbandry as he is picture alongside Butch the sheep. (the sheep
had to be put down.... sorry only joking!)
04/02/99 Blast from Soames - kicking ass in the
Commons is Soames the new torynator? "This is the latest blow in Labour's
attack on the elderly and their savings and it is about time that they heed cross-party
advice and scrap this damaging attack on poor pensioners!"
04/2/99 Why Critcise My Concern? (Middy Mailbag) -
Fattie Soames hits back at his less media whorish critics in his open letter - dissing the
views of Gill Balsdon (and practically 90% of the area in turn!), who claim that our true
blue boy "photo opportunity... quick and easy publicity" was just that.
Well in an ironic twist the Rankin of Burgess Hill writes in support, however placing
one's proverbial size 10s in one's gob then writes "the issue of road traffic and
pedestrian safety in World's End is a recurring one". Soames sort it out...
04/2/99 MP's date with traders - Burgess Hill
business community will be quizzing MP Nicholas Soames next month, when he address the
Burgess Hill Business Alliance for the first time since its launch in December. The
meeting will be held at the Martlets Hall on March 19 from 3 to 5pm. To make maximum
use of the seession, questions should be submitted in advance to Susan Fleet by March 12
01444 235475 or fax 01444 871577. Oh and some ask him to sort it out!
28/1/99 Survey Shows Companies Are on the Wrong Track- Fattie
Soames is at his media whorish best again, with yet another name check concerning rail
services. "I shall be looking for much greater effort on their part" .
Dammnit Man do something!!
14/1/98 Danger Road: MP Calls for Action - having
clung onto his election seat for dear life and living a relatively quiet political life,
fatty Soames our local conservative MP for Mid Sussex was out doing some good in the
Burgess Hill area in Leylands road - which was nice!
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