The Middy has been around for god knows how long. It's a bit
of a mixed bag, sometimes it covers local news, sometimes it chooses to
glamourise the nastier and seedier side of Heath life, such as the kids
peddling special brew outside the B2. Anyway they've recently gone
on line check out their limited resources at www.midsussextimes.co.uk
. And you thought we recycled stuff eh!?!
I only recently found out this exciting fact (well I've known since November
1998!). There used to be someone employed on the competitions desk at the Mid Sussex
Times. They wanted to be a journo', but the hacks there wouldn't let him. So
in some act of rebellion and Robin Hood kindness he set about fixing the results of the
Mid Sussex Times competitions. The criteria he would set:
Friends and relatives had a better chance of winning.
if you hadn't pissed him off and in fact recently done a good deed, you were
considered for first prize.
if the prize was sufficiently good, he would get one of his friends to pose as Mr
S Sam. Unfortunately all the prizes were naff, so he quickly stopped all that.
if you were a kindly OAP and lived down the road from him, you would get a dinner
for two for free.
Oh and if your entry was in anyway crap, it got slung into the bin. Even if
you got the answers right!
Page down if you want to skip our coincidently satirical look at
the Middy's regurgitation of news event from errr... a really long long time ago!
Remember this is no George Lucas style CGI makeover!
18/3/99 Bricks & Mortar - oh lowley part of
Haywards Heath we know as Franklynns village gets a well deserved write up. Even so
it may be too late to save this page lining Tweeties cage!!
11/3/99 - Navvy invasion sparked expansion -
holey moley some rather interesting history... d'oh too much to type.... errr anyway
it's back to HH for this one!
4/3/99 Come into the garden - the rather dull
history of Sussex Mid trails the story of err Hassocks!! Someone pass me the
prozac... even a child's school project on their home town/village is more interesting
than this!
25/2/99 Clay gave town a solid foundation -
Zzzzz Zzzz okay, something to do with clay and Burgess Hill and the brick and tile
industry!
18/2/99 Town just kept on growing - not content
with doing the Heath over the course of god knows how long... we move towards
Burgess Hill... Damn at this rate this feature will run for years with all the villages,
houses and randon people in Mid Sussex ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!
04/02/99 Heroes feeding the nation - yet another
barrage of really obscure old news... abd this is only part 4!!! Stop it stop it
NOW!!!
28/1/99 Life on the Land - Blah blah blah...
farming farming farming.... snoooze Yawn!!!!
14/1/99 - The History of Mid Sussex in the 20th Century -
enjoy the lack of real news as our local journo's at the Middy create new news
from old news!!!
Come on catch the Kat.... well err tell the
middy you "saw" the beast and see if it gets into print!
11/3/99 Puma Spotted - Tread carefully on the
streets of Cuckfield - thare may be a puma waiting just round the corner (either that or a
shifty looking plain clothes police officer!). The latest sighting of the large cat
took place on Tuesday, in Tower House Close, at around 7.70am. It follows several
reports of sightings in Mid Sussex last year. Middy reader Susan Leslie called us
with news, saying: "It was walking along, slowly, near a hedge. It was about 40
inches long, tawny brown with black markings, and with a curly tail. It disappeared
into the woodland"
14/5/98 Is this the Sussex Puma? -The Sussex Puma is on the
prowl again - this time near woodland in Cuckfield. And elderly lady in Tower House
Close spotted the black puma-type beast when she looked out of her window last Thursday
evening. It was standing on her lawn just five yards away.
Moments later it
walked out of sight and disappeared behind her garage. The woman mad her own drawing
and gave police a graphic description of the animal which she said had thick black hair
and was around two feet long with a 15 inch tail. She told them she was familiar
with animals and insisted it was not a normal cat or dog. During further enquiries,
police were told by a neighbour that a similar animal had been sighted about two months
ago on the western side of the village where property backs onto the woodland.
29/7/99 Those were the days - on
1/8/74 a sneak thief who obviously blieves that he is something of a
comic stole milk from a doorstep in Church Road, HH. He left a
not saying: "Humphrey has been, slurp, lurp, slopper." The
owner, who had no milk for breakfast, was not amused.
25/2/99 Those were the days - on 21/2/74 Drivers
were baffled at the prospect of the new one-way system, now being constructed in the area
of Boltro Road, Paddockhall Road and Harlands Road. Reports came intot he Mid Sussex
Times offices from perplexed readers saying that up to 60 road signs had invaded the new
system. - don't times do not change?
04/2/99 Those were the Days - on 31/1/39 The Rev
Cyril H Valentine Vicar of Highbrook, combined psychology with humour when addressing
Haywards Heath Rotarians on "Keeping Fit Mentally" at their weekly luncheon at
the Station Hotel. Explaining his system of "mental jerks" he declared
that we needed to campaign to keep people fit mentally as much as keeping them fit
physically. The great test of mental fitness, he stated, was how much one could
disbelieve. Eh Christians !
28/1/99 Those were the Days - on 24/1/74 British
Rail Staff cleared the platforms of Haywards Heath Station when a suspicious looking
object wa seen lying on the track on platform 2. It was psherical, slightly larger
than a cricket ball with three sinister cream coloured horns. Det Constable Mark
Dudenay eamined the object. He rolled it over and found himself looking at the face
of an animal carved on the outer case. There was a slot cut on the top of the hollow
sphere. "This is a piggy bank. And it's empty"
28/1/99 DrainWatch Hotline red-hot - well
instead of reporting news, it's creating the news as the folk of Mid Sussex phone in their
news of "blocked drains". That's 9 blocked drains!!! WOW Weee!
that sure is a very good result.
28/1/99 Mobile Black Holes - not content with
stirring the proverbial fecal matter with their big wooden spoon, Middy reporters are
journalling their way into the great mobile debate!! The cell phone networks have
great advertising and claims of 99% of population really mean 65% of geographical
locations are lost on mobile users. Well you had the opportunity to ask dammnit!!
If the salesperson told you one thing and it ain't true, claim for damages cos
thats misrepresentation!!! Anyway HH is in a black hole quite literally!
12/1/99 - Don't just slouch on the couch (from the
Citizen the Middy's little brother) - sometimes the Middy just don't have the room to
print all it wants. So what it does is print the even more duller stuff in it's free
paper! - The Citizens top ten tips for having a great night out:
Goto to the theatre and see a play, musical or concert. The
Middy has a full listing. (nice plug)
Goto the cinema. The Middy has a full listing. (what
another plug!)
Goto the pub and join in a pub quiz. The local is a great
night out. (Err not if you went to my local! - ed)
Get involved in helping you community.
There are plenty of clubs and societies. From the keyboard
club in Burgess Hill, to the cage birds association which meets at Lindfield. It all
goes on in the evenings in Mid Sussex. (call that a great night out? -ed)
Goto college and get some knowledge.
Get fit an evening in the gym burns off the calories and is also
a good place to meet people of like mind.
Play sport.
For the young set, clubs are often the place to be for a lively
night out.
Go and see professional sport.
7/1/99 Free Ads - almost too good to be
true!! See what Heathians are selling for cold hard cash.... have some fun and see
how many Sussex Puma based things you can "sell" in the middy!
7/1/99 Garage for letting - (advertising
masquerading as news! -ed) - it's in the Newick on the A272 area if you want it.
This
page was last updated on Sunday, 28. November 1999.
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